The Unfolding Flow
Monday, I had an unusual experience. I started my day with a simple plan. A doctor’s visit about my knee. Happy with my progress my doctor suggested finding medical magnets to get the pocket of swelling out of my knee.
I made a few stops with no luck and settled on an Amazon purchase. On the way home I started to cry–not a crier by nature I much prefer to think my feelings. I got out of my car with the tears in full flow and hurried in my house hoping the neighbors would not hear me. I opened to door and headed to my bedroom with no stop in the water works.
I lay on my bed wondering what was the matter with me. I couldn’t really think of one thing that was upsetting me.
I started to pepper myself with all those familiar get it together phrases, “Be Strong,” “Keep the Faith” but all of it landing on deaf ears. I was doing daily all the things to keep myself buoyed a positive mindset, meditation but not really being with all the feelings– the ups and downs of being physically hampered, a change with my job and life in these Covid times. I wasn’t resisting what was happening, but I certainly hadn’t surrendered to it all.
What was happening with the tears Sonia Choquette calls “turning the controls of your life over to your quiet loving heart instead of your overthinking, overcontrolling mind; that is, surrendering your ego to love and flow.”
I know by allowing the tears I am coming home to my authentic self and the side of me that wants it all handled knows that being emotionally homeless is not a solution.
I wake up this morning and I feel lighter like night and day. I am grateful for the new day ahead and all that yesterday taught me.
I will continue to surrender into what my friend Henry calls, “the unfolding flow of life” and all it has for me. Care to join me?
Together we journey,
P.S. I love to connect, feel free to comment.