Just Around the Corner
If someone would have told me in April as I hobbled around on crutches in Hawaii that on New Year’s Eve, I’d be on a date in my hometown with someone from New Jersey I would have said, “What are you smoking?”
Life can turn in an instant. For me it happened in the Fall with my soul coach, Deb Beroset. Dating and more specifically “online dating” felt as fun as doing my taxes.
In our conversation she got all that was in the way of my hesitancy, and in the same afternoon I found myself on a dating app.
Thanksgiving morning, I received a message like no other not a “Hey” or “Hi” but a “Happy Thanksgiving Louisa, I’m 6’3”, witty, wise and a community-minded writer.” His paragraph introduction was stellar, and he closed with, “that I had his attention.” The fact that he wrote more than two words had mine instantly. I was intrigued to explore more on what I was calling my “love quest”.
We talked on the phone and Zoomed before meeting in person. As I re-entered dating, I decided to stay in the moment of the exchange i.e., if it was a text or a call. I intentionally stayed in the feelings and space and not future-scaped or fantasized.
You know that thing you do when one is dating, job interviewing, or chasing a dream. We start planning our futures- “When this happens then I’ll drop thirty pounds, and then I will move here.” All being contingent on this one domino falling a certain way.
We can create a future fantasy which is really an illusion to what is happening in the moment. We can miss or step over things happening in the moment because we want to get to some future place we have created in our mind.
So where in your life are you future-scaping? What if you stayed in the moment only? I can share that to do that is a practice. In the moment, a range of feelings can arise. The beauty of the moment is it gives us a self-awareness, a clarity on the next right action to take versus the fantasy of the future. It can take us on a journey even more beautiful than we could have imagined.
Trust, vulnerability and openness are key as one sojourns this path. I love this prayer from Tosha Silver, “Change me Beloved into one who embraces my own uniqueness, knowing you come in countless ways. Let me accept my own nature completely, knowing it too, is Divine. May I love myself as I am, not as others say I should be.”
As we enter 2021, what if you lived in a way you never have. I didn’t have everything “in order” before I started my love quest. And neither do you for whatever you are creating. You never know what is just around the corner. It could be something spectacular like a New Year’s Date.
Together we break out anew.
P .S. I love to connect, feel free to comment.