Goodbye Expectation

A football field of wild daffodils on a back-country road, a champagne toast at my grandmother’s grave site, a flash mob pop up in a neighborhood.  All these moments shared this week with me by my mother, cousin, and a random stranger on Facebook. 

The moments, the memories, and the stillness in between give us the tapestry we call life.  Today I ventured out the first time in twenty-one days complete with self-isolation.  I am welcomed back with empty roads, and big red STOP signs at the front door of my doctor’s office to not come in before my temperature was taken and masked people everywhere. 

It took me back.  I came home with a longing for something familiar or comforting.  I found it here.  Writing this blog though so late is still part of my normal rhythm.  My friend Henry texts me in the midst and asks, “How am I doing?  “Can you chat I ask?” I share all the strangeness, the looking for the familiar. He talks about “It finding you.” For me the “It” are words that come out on this page.  The words that help me make sense of this all or not. Henry goes on to say, “Go through this as a process rather than a demand to force myself out of it”

I discover in the process that my expectations of others are in the way. In this un-covering I realize all the self-imposed shoulds.  How could life change without expectation?  And what could rise up in its place?  

What are you uncovering, discovering in this time? What keeps finding you? 

Open to the hidden treasures all around you. 

With love and surrender,

Louisa 

P.S. I love to connect, feel free to comment.